California

When I think about my recent trip to California, the first word that comes to mind is quiet. Which is actually pretty funny because I was staying in a beach house with 22 other family members. Not even close to quiet! But for some reason, I was. The landscape was beautiful. I stayed where Christo installed his “Running Fence” and Alfred Hitchcock filmed “The Birds.” It’s a very surreal place; rolling farm lands untouched by suburbia lead you to the ocean. It’s a place where you can find the BEST strawberries, grapes, and cherries and its easier to buy organic dairy than store bought. The farm roads just beg for you to ride, run, or drive on them…as a friend said, the roads are “in love with the ocean.” Couldn’t have said it better myself. I loved this place. I hope it stays exactly as it is: perfect.

The city, on the other hand, is loud, crowded, and absolutely wonderful. The experience that sticks out most in my mind is visiting the Exploratorium. I went there once when I was…8? I think. Maybe 10. And it was heaven for my nerdy little self. So much to learn! This time, however, I decided to pay a little extra to experience the “Tactile Dome.” Without ruining it for future visitors, lets just say, as a serious claustrophobic and a girl afraid of the dark, this place was a torture chamber. I went with my brothers and boyfriend who all thought it was AWESOME. I exited shaking and having a hard time catching my breath. But I MADE it! Before you enter the dome, the “dome guy” says that if you panic, there are a few emergency exits he can open for you. When I got to the only point in the dome where there is a faint light (hope!), there were two other people who told me I was half way through. Half-way?! I was in a state of panic. They said there was an emergency exit right there if I needed to go. I couldn’t breathe and I wanted to cry. No, I said. I’m prepared to conquer this fear. Its just going to be scary. I went back into the dark and before I knew it I had conquered the Tactile Dome! I could see and breathe again. I felt invincible.

I have so much more to write but I have a movie (Shop Girl), a bowl of fruit and some vanilla ice cream calling my name. :)

in sync

I love feeling in sync with life. Where little coincidences happen every day to make you smile and help you feel connected to the universe. I have been so in sync lately, its scary. Let me give you a few examples:
I am being haunted by a song (Danny California by the Red Hot Chile Peppers). Every time I turn on the car, switch radio stations, walk into a store, anything! Its on. I'd say in the last two weeks I've heard this song 30-40 times, seriously. I don't even LIKE it! Its driving me crazy because I have no idea what the significance of this would be besides the universe playing a practical joke on me for giggles. Well I sure hope its working Universe! :) I recently had a dream I formed a topless dodgeball team and that was our theme song and team name. The Danny California topless team!
The universe is also sending me love in the form of hearts. I am finding hearts everywhere. Not just clouds or rocks shaped like hearts (many) but also glass hearts in Occidental (a gift from an old man), ceramic red ones in parking lots, they're everywhere! I like to think its my birth mother sending her love from heaven. Hey, its possible. I usually take the hearts and place them somewhere new (what's love if it isn't shared?) but I have held on to the glass and the ceramic one.
I asked a dictionary at Staples what I should do about my financial situation next semester (specifically, should I get a loan?) and I then closed my eyes and pointed to usury: the lending of money at exorbitant interest rates. Then I looked at the word underneath my finger: Utah. The very university I'm attending! Chills. I bought the dictionary.
I just took a silly online quiz (i'm a sucker for quizzes) and it basically formed a soundtrack of your life from your ipod songs on shuffle (does that make sense?) I won't elaborate on the whole quiz but here are a few that just dropped my jaw:
Waking Up: "Have you passed through this night?" Explosions in the Sky
Falling in Love: "Undeniable" Mat Kearney
Secret Love: "Digging a ditch" DMB
Mental Breakdown: "A hard rain's gonna fall" Lucinda Williams
Driving: "Trucks Gliding" Above the Orange Trees
Final Battle: "Enemy Fire" Ryan Adams
Death Scene: "You woke the morning" Mat Kearney

You can see quiz yourself here. (random link, I have no affilitation at all with that forum.)
I must get back to my studies...I have many beautiful images to post of my trip to California (the above is my brother Greg at Dillon Beach). More about that later. :)

Glacier!

on the way to Grinnell, originally uploaded by mariayd.

My vacation photos are up at my flickr site, click on the picture to check them out. This was the initial run through, I'm sure more will be added soon (I still have 2 gigs worth of photos to sort through!)

Vacation stats:

Vacation Stats:

Drove 2500 miles (pulled over once)
Stayed in 3 hotels
Camped in 2 National Parks (Glacier, Yellowstone)
Hiked 25 miles
Got 6 blisters and 7 mosquito bites
Rode in 2 boats (rowed 1)
Jumped into 1 freezing lake
Drove through 1 hailstorm
Explored 1 vortex
Captured 1 and 1/2 orbs
Befriended 1 French Canadian
Saw 3 goats, at least 4 marmots, and 10 bears (plus or minus 7, depending on how you count)
Indulged in 2 bowls of ice cream, one bag of gummy bears, 4 Clif Bars, and 3 Veggie Burgers
Shared 1 bottle of wine
Took around 700 photos
Watched 4 sunsets
Saw a million stars (7 shooting)

I will post a link once I've uploaded the photographs, I have some unbeLIEVEable shots! I've been having some technical difficulty processing (ie laptop is dead) but they'll be worth the wait, I promise. The photos above are of our campsite in Glacier National Park. I have been a lot of places in this world but nowhere is a beautiful as Glacier, to me. The mountains are breathtaking, you can take your eyes off them. I can't wait to share the rest of my photos!

Next month: No. Cal (which will complete my year of trips every single month!)

Happy Solstice!

Happy Solstice to all my internet friends. :)
Go watch this video and then do a little dance, make a little love, get down tonight.
Its summertime and I'm on the road!

Home

Some reasons why I love Utah:
*a three hour drive will put me in Idaho, Wyoming, Nevada, or the red rocks of the desert (there's always something to discover, and you can do it in a weekend!)
*I can go for a walk at night and feel safe doing it
*A couple nights ago, the neighbors across the street got a new car, and the whole neighborhood came over to check it out and congratulate them. It was like a scene from the Wonder Years. Except the neighbors are gay. :)
*I am surrounded by mountains. Amazing mountains! A short jaunt up the hills and you can see for 100 miles. (and there is hidden art everywhere. A couple peaks behind my place have a mailbox at the top with journals to write in.)
*The sunsets are incredible.
*I have many childhood memories here. My favorite park, for example, is where I used to go sledding when I was a little girl.
*My family is here.
*We have these Cottonwood trees shed this cotton-like seed (?) that floats in the air this time of year. To me, its magical, especially at dusk.
*Its not humid.

For Archie:

Archie-
I wish I didnt have to do this on the internet, I'd do it any other way if I knew your email or phone or last name for that matter. You were my favorite movie rental person ever! Last time I went in (rented: The Ringer) some female employees I had never seen before told me that you "left for Jersey." My heart just sank! I always looked forward to seeing you when I came to rent movies. You never had to ask me for my account number and you never charged me late fees, thank you. I always wanted to ask you if you wanted to be friends, but I always chickened out. I'm sorry. I think we could have been good friends. I feel bad I didn't get to say goodbye.
You're something special Archie. I hope that you're following your dreams out there in Jersey. Good bye...I'll miss you.

Love and hugs,
maria

PS You were right, Match Point WAS surprisingly good.
PPS You have really nice teeth.

what defines you?

I recently saw Batman Begins for the second time and remembered a quote that I should have written down the first time:
"But it's not who you are underneath, it's what you do that defines you."
It hit me hard this time, and I wrote it in marker over a finger painted self portrait.
What do I do? I initially came down hard on myself, telling myself I don't do anything worthwhile, that I've become a boring person who lives barely on the surface. But I immediately changed my attitude because one thing I'm learning how to do better this year is be nice to myself.
For me, the difference between a fulfilled life and an unfulfilled one is little things. A good book to read, secret notes left at the park, yoga, a long talk, a thoughtful email, watching the sun set from the hills. Now, I'm no batman, but I definitely do things that are worthwhile. I am taking a better note now of how I spend my time and whether or not I want what I'm doing to define me (i.e. hours of pointless internet browsing, complaining about work, swearing under my breath at other drivers on the road). I imagine a bunch of scientists in a room watching my life on a video screen and finding a definition of me just by observing my actions. This thought almost scares me into being my true self at all times, just so the imaginary scientists get it right.
My birth father and I have been in contact since we met last month. He is a writer like me (we just can't help it) and so he sends me long emails about his life and his family but also about my birth mother and their love affair. He told me one of my birth mother's greatest thrills in life was making people feel important. He said she could make anyone's day. I am learning a lot from her, even though she's gone. I am trying now to be more friendly to strangers (I am usually more reserved to protect myself because I have had a lot of creepies in my life) and to compliment and smile often.

Other little things I've done recently:
bought beautiful mums at the grocery store
planted some sunflowers (the GIGANTIC kind) in random locations
bought my mom some new shoes (for mothers day. she never got new shoes when she was little)
climbed trees at the park and hid notes in the branches
watched the clouds
saved a duck from being picked on
made time for the gym/yoga
wrote thank you emails to companies I appreciate
developed film that had been sitting on my shelf for nearly a year
tried new foods (minneolas and prickly pear lemonade, both amazing)
bought a small candle to make my apartment smell like orange blossoms
hugged my dad

I think this is what defines us. The little things. Its not the boring office job or how many hours we spend on the computer or in front of the television, or even our IQ or how much money we spent on our jeans.
The little things are fun! They're easy! And they're important, for me at least, to feel like I'm leading a fulfilling life.

What defines a person to you? What fulfills you?

Mothers Day balloon launch

An ongoing list:

Takk...

This concert was by far the most beautiful gift I've given myself in a very long time. There are few bands/musicians that can bring tears to my eyes. Sigur Ros is one of them. Oh thank you Sigur Ros for filling me up again! I will forever be a fan.

She waited.

Incredible!

When you have the time, go check out this site:

www.wildthingsphotography.com

My boss (the commercial photographer one) knew and was friends with this guy when he lived in Alaska. I'm usually not too moved by nature photography but these are really great. The whales are my favorite.

Note to self:
must go to alaska

The installation in the mountains

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This is the first of a series of swings. :)